Why Fi?

 Feb 1, 2018 10:00 PM
by Marcel Strigberger

I happened to be at a Starbucks in Florida recently and I decided to access their free WIFI.  Not surprisingly you have to click on and accept their terms and conditions.  I opened the link and I believe I am probably the only person who ever read this stuff, other than maybe the lawyer who drafted it after graduating from Attila the Hun Law School.  Draconian? You decide. They go something like this.

Privacy and Security

-Privacy?  Ha ha ha!  We have the right to share all your user information with necessary third parties.  Necessary third parties include Starbucks, Google and Amazon.

-As well your personal information may find itself on Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook page. If you see it there, you hereby agree to Like it.

-We have the right to install cookies of our choice on your device.  Today we are installing blueberry scones.

 

Improper use of WIFI

-You agree not to use your device for any improper purposes including SPAM, copyright infringement, or defamatory postings.  If you burn yourself on the hot coffee or tea, you agree,to limit your reactions to saying ,"ouch".

-You may not transmit viruses, worms or Trojan horses.  You will be required to clean up any mess made by any horses.

 

Offensive language

You will not use offensive terms, phrases or language, including Canadian.  These include but are not limited to the words, "timbits","pop" or "double double".

 

Damages

You use this service at your own risk.  We are not responsible for damages, injuries or traumas however caused, other than those governed by the 2013 Sumatran Java Convention.  In such case damages will be limited to one venti cappuccino.  ( 275 calories).  For strawberry or vanilla extract please add 50 cents. 

 

As the old adage says, there is no such thing as a free latte.

 

www.marcelshumour.com


 


  

 

 
Top of page